Archive for May, 2005
Lawyers and spyware
Ok so I went and fixed a lawyer’s computer at his house the other night and then today I went and optimized his computer at his office. It’s weird how almost all my business is lawyers, doctors, and retired older people… Maybe it has to do with the fact that it’s all by word of mouth?
You know, I hate those spyware creators and what not, but I have to give them credit for about half my business. The irony of it is that I only know how to remove the stuff because of the fact that I used to be all into hacking when I was like 13. I would make trojans that used the same techniques that the spyware these days use to hide on people’s computers. So naturally, I usually know how to get rid of it as well…
Here’s how my average repair job goes:
1. Download Spybot Search and Destroy from http://www.spybot.info (a completely free, donation supported tool)
2. Download the latest spyware definitions
3. Reboot the computer into safe mode
4. Scan and remove spyware using Spybot, then Immunize it.
5. Look through registry using regedit and msconfig for any abnormal things that are starting up needlessly and disable them
6. Look through the Administrative Tools > Services console for abnormal services that are starting up automatically and disable them
7. Go into Internet Explorer brower options > Settings > View Objects and remove all foreign ActiveX controls
8. Reboot computer into normal mode
9. Install Firefox (http://www.mozilla.org/products/firefox/) as an alternative to Internet Explorer that is less susceptible to spyware.
10. Show person how to use Firefox instead of Internet Explorer
Now, of course there are many variations to that whole scenario, but you get the general gist of the idea.
Rescued
I am pleased to write that near sundown this evening, my camp fire was spotted by a passing cargo ship and I have been rescued.
Although somewhat disappointed that I will be unable to amuse my readers with my island adventures, I am glad to be back on my way home where I will resume my life as a panhandler.
I decided to leave George behind on the island with a tub of peanut butter as his punishment. I think it fitting, do you not?
Day Four
After going over the entire island twice without finding the knapsack culprit, I happened to glance over at George and I swear I saw an amused smirk on his face. However, the moment he noticed me staring at him he instantly put on an innocent expression and started examining a nearby leaf.
Upon closer inspection (and much to my dismay), I discovered traces of peanut butter on his lips. There is no doubt in my mind now. George did it. Either that, or he’s in cahoots with whoever did.
An appropriate punishment will be decided tomorrow.
Methinks that voting him off the island would teach him a thing or two.
Or maybe some turtle soup is in order?
On a side note, I appear to be running out of fresh water. My cache of Evian water bottles is dwindling rapidly and I sincerely doubt that a supply plane will be coming soon. Time to kick in my plethora of boy scout skills.
Oh wait. I didn’t go to boy scouts…
Third day on the island
I woke up at noon today to the sun beating down on my face and realized something. I’m sunburnt badly. Looking around for my knapsack in hopes of finding some sunscreen, I found it torn to pieces and the contents scattered all over the island. Who could have caused this act of extreme vandalism? I honestly didn’t know that George disliked me so! Could it be that a third character is a participant to the same plight as George and I?
I think I will spend the rest of the day searching for this character and give it a piece of my mind.
Second day on the island
I have explored the island in it’s entirety. Yes. The island is that small. I didn’t find much of interest except for a small turtle that I have decided to name George. He doesn’t seem to agree, and refuses to come when called.
I have also decided to write “SOS” in the sand on the beach in the odd chance a wayward bird may observe it. I do not know what “SOS” means, but I have the strange presumption that it may be related to how long I stay on this island. Either that, or maybe a shipment of small, square aluminum wire pads dipped in soap will fall from the sky.